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怎样用英语讲一个笑话?

发布于:2022-05-21 作者:admin123 阅读:22

  A classic joke goes like this: A nurse rushes into an exam room and says, “Doctor, doctor, there’s an invisible man in the waiting room。

  ” The doctor says, “Tell him I can’t see him。”

  Pretty simple, right?

  Here’s how I tell it: “A nurse—her name is Joyce—feels a presence in the waiting room。

   She looks around but sees nothing。 She jumps up from her desk, carefully replaces her chair, and runs down the lavender-hued hallway to the doctor’s office。

   She knocks on the door。 No response。 He’s not there。 Where can he be? She continues down the hall, admiring a lithograph of an 18th-century Mississippi paddleboat along the way。

  ” By this time, my audience has left, but I soldier on4)。 “She bursts into the exam room and says, ‘Doctor, doctor!’ The doctor, I should mention, is a urologist with a degree from Ohio State, which is where my nephew …”

  You get the idea。

   I’m an embellisher。 I can’t leave a simple gag alone。

  I’m not the only joke-challenged member of the family。 My sister’s worse than I am。

   Her problem: She can’t remember them。 “‘A nurse rushes into an exam room and says…’ Uh, let me start all over again。 ‘A nurse rushes into a waiting…’ No, it’s not the waiting room。

   She just came from the waiting room。 Let me start all over again。 ‘A doctor rushes into…’ No, wait…”

  My uncle’s different。

   He’s guilty of taking a perfectly fine joke and selling it as the second coming of Oscar Wilde: “Okay, this is a good one。

   Ready? No, really, ready? Okay, fasten your seat belts。 Ready? ‘A nurse…’ Got it? A nurse? Okay, ready? ‘A nurse rushes into an exam room and says, “Doctor, doctor, there’s an invisible man in the waiting room。

  ”’ Now, this is where it gets funny。 Ready?”

  No one is ever ready, so they leave before he gets to the punch line。

  My father’s on Wall Street, so he hears all the jokes before they hit the Web。

   And he lets you know he knows them all by telling you all of them。 He also knows that most people don’t like jokes。 So he slips them in under the radar: “I was chatting with Ben Bernanke the other day。

   You know Ben, don’t you? The Fed chief? Anyway, we were reviewing the Fed’s policy on long-term interest rates, and he told me it had evolved into its current iteration only after a nurse rushed into an exam room and said, ‘Doctor, doctor, there’s…’ Hey, where are you going?”

  My brother Mark understands that the secret to good joke telling is to know your audience。

   When he entertained my grandmother’s mah-jongg club one evening, he made it a point to adapt the joke to them: “A stacked nurse rushes into an exam room…”

  No one in my family has ever finished this joke。

  But as bad as it is not to be able to tell a joke, there’s something worse: not being able to listen to one。 Take my cousin Mitch。

  “Why couldn’t the doctor see him?” he asked。

  “Because he’s invisible,” I said。

  “Now, I didn’t get that。 I thought the doctor couldn’t see him because he was with a patient。

  “Well, yeah, okay, but the fact that the guy was invisible…”

  “Could the nurse see him?”

  “No。 She’s the one who said he was invisible…”

  “How’d she know he was there?”

  “Because he…”

  “When you say he was invisible, does that mean his clothes were invisible too?” Here’s where I tried to walk away。

  “Because if his clothes weren’t invisible,” Mitch said, stepping between me and the exit, “then the doctor could see him, right?”

  “Yeah, but …”

  “At least his clothes。

  “I guess…”

  “Unless he was naked。

  “Okay, he was naked!”

  “Why would he go to his doctor naked?”

  Next time you see my family and someone is telling a joke, do yourself a favor: Make yourself invisible。

把中文笑话翻译成英文的来讲

一、有关...英语...

我想你们老师如此安排的目的无非是让你们锻炼口语。因为每次课都有这种练习,因此你可以做个日记,可以记录你们同学中的小故事,也可以是你生活中遇到的问题,因为贴近同学的生活,大家一定感兴趣,同时也容易听懂。其实100个字,也就是7到10个句子,甚至更少。口语表达的忌讳是,不要使用生僻的单词,如果你自己都感到说着很费劲,又如何让他人理解呢。

祝你顺利

你的同学们是什么水平啊?我觉得讲个笑话挺好的。或者讲一段名人的话也不错。

二、元旦晚会,我表演讲笑话要讲什么笑话呢?

  1。上学时周末回家,晚饭后烟瘾犯了,打算借口去散步。在门口换鞋时,老爸问我干吗去?我说:“去抽个烟!”结果老爸从我身上搜出一包555,狠狠K了我一顿。

2、一次从妈妈那里出来后到老婆那里去,看见老婆后,习惯性的叫了一声:“妈!”

3、早上上班,发现自行车没气了,于是想叫妈妈推到门外打气。

   结果我说:“把我的轮胎推出去。”妈妈迷糊了,我笑着连忙改正,结果又说成:“帮我的汽车打点气!”

4、一个女孩失恋了,我劝她:“两条腿的蛤蟆不好找,三条腿的男人有的是啊!”

怎样用英语讲一个笑话?

5、两个人斗嘴,突然旁边一人冒出来一句:“你们真是吃饱了事情没饭做啊!”

6、同事和人争执,急了张口来了句:“你以为我吃饭长大的啊?”我一直纳闷他到底吃什么长大的。

7、边吃饭边看帖子,边念经典的给老婆听,笑死她了,于是她对我说:“吃完饭再看吧,不然脑子消化不良!”

8、一次问一个近视的人眼睛多少度,他本想说400度的,结果一出口就成了400瓦,肚子痛死!

9、一次教育局领导视察课间操,结束后,本应由体育老师宣布“解散”,但一时情急,忘词了,憋了半天,大喊:“撤退!”

10、一体育系学生上实习课时,很多老师听课,他太紧张,最后要解散队伍时,一时脑子空白,硬憋了句:“全体注意,立正!闪!!”

11、一群同学去郊区同学家玩。

  我们买了几个西瓜放在厨房。叫一个同学去拿刀切,好久不见回来,正疑惑间,他手里捧着个切开的瓜来了,惊慌地说:我把南瓜给切了。大家狂笑,但两秒钟后,大家更是笑翻,原来他手里捧着个冬瓜!

12、高中有一老师姓江,酷似罗家英(演大话西游唐僧的),我去问他问题,脱口而出:“唐老师,这题……”

13、一次去麦当劳买甜桶,终于轮到了,我迫不及待的说:“给我两个滚筒!”没想到那服务员对我大声的说;“两个滚筒,四块钱!”

14、俺碰到一个心仪已久的女孩从澡堂里出来,想套近乎,憋了半天憋出一句:“你洗澡啊,里面男的多不多啊?”

15、有次去吃饭,结帐时一个MM对老板说:“老公!结帐!”当时老板娘就在旁边……

16、有一老师通宵麻将,见黑板没擦,大怒:“今天谁做庄啊?白板都不擦!”

17、刚买了房子,兴奋中给一哥们打电话:‘我买房啦,不过就一毛房(忘说“坯”字了)还得装修。

  ”哥们说:“就只有一厕所吗?那你住哪里啊?”

18、本老师留下做作业,不会做就抄别人的,然后去办公室交作业,看见老师说:“我抄完了!”

19、某君考驾驶证那天,特别紧张。考官为难他,叫他在路边有一个消防栓的地方停车。

  此君特紧张的说:“报告消防栓,路边有一个考官,不允许停车!”

20、公司养一狗叫:小白。某天大家逗狗,同事甲拿着一饼干对狗说到:“小白,整个办公室只有你喂我哦。”三秒钟后,整个办公室暴笑!。

三、如何给胎儿讲故?

给胎儿讲故事是一项不可缺少的胎教内容,讲故事时准妈妈应把腹内的胎儿当成一个大孩子,娓娓动听地边说亲切的语言,边通过语言神经传递给胎儿,使胎儿不断接受客观环境的影响,在不断变化的文化氛围中发育成长。讲故事既要避免尖声尖气地喊叫,又要防止平淡乏味地读书,方式可以根据准妈妈的具体情况而定。内容由母亲任意发挥,讲随意看书的故事,也可以读故事书,最好是图文并茂的儿童读物。还可以给胎儿朗读一些儿歌散文等。内容不应长,宜有趣,切忌引起恐惧、惊慌。

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